Stop Asking Me When I Am Getting Married, I Don’t Ask When You Are Getting Divorced
Today I happened to receive a message from a friend of mine with whom it was ages I had spoken to for the last time. I was naturally happy to hear from her. With all those ‘conversation starter questions’, she said “You have become a blogger… (didn’t even bothered to wait for my reply) so any plans on marriage? anything decided on that front?”
I happily thanked her for the compliment she gave for my blog and gracefully ignored the questions which popped later that. Because really?? Am I the ONLY one who is gonna ‘DECIDE’ on that front???
Since I have so many thoughts piled up in my head for sometime now, instead of answering these questions separately to all those who are curious , I thought of answering them in one shot.
PS: This is not at all personal. I am writing this calmly and with a wide smile on my face. Plus, this is not just about me. If you are on that side of the world, where you have been asked these questions on regular basis, you will understand each and every line of mine.
All those girls who are happily single.
All those who are married(you guys ask yourselves if you are happily married or whatever.. it’s not my business anyways.)
I know, I know, there is a ‘specific age’ for marriage. What do you call that??? Umm ‘Right Age’, ‘Right Time’. What happens if we do not get married before or on ‘Right Time’??? Are we going to perish??? Are we going to be like ‘expired’ products???
I know your answer – “After right age, you won’t get a ‘Good Guy'”. Really???? I am glad you know what is good for me. Wait a second, do you??? Do you really know what is good for me??? More than my parents??? More than my own self??? slow clap
If you say a ‘good guy’ is with good looks and money let me tell you, honey, you are totally wrong. Why?? Let me explain.
As my dad rightly says – in the youth, even a donkey looks beautiful. But let’s talk about age after that. Your good looking guy will be a uncle. His six packs abs(if he really had before marriage) will be covered by layers of fat. As per ‘society standards’, he won’t fit in ‘Good Guy(uncle)’ category anymore. head bang Will you leave him???
As per as money is concerned. I know money gets you the respect and dignity in ‘society’. It gives you happiness when you shop, buy things you like, travel etc. If money is serving those purposes, why do you need a man then??? Earn money and spend it with dignity.
When people meet it so sad and strange that they ask you about your job, marital status, kids blah and blah. Nobody really cares whether you are happy in your life…!!! In fact they just try to suck out the happiness from life by bombarding such ‘personal’ questions. #TakeABreak
Unlike married lady, we can wake up when we like to. We can cook when we like to or just order pizza and just laze around like a panda. Singles can shop whenever they want instead of saving money for their unbuilt house and unborn kids(what they termed it as ‘future planning’). We can talk to whomever we want to because we don’t have that ‘special’ someone who will get jealous. Advantage lists goes on and on.
I can hear you saying “In marriage you will have someone who will always be there for you” haha this makes me laugh out loud. Are you serious??? Does your partner really remember the reason you cried last time??? Was he really there every single time you were in need??? Oh come on, you are married to a human(I hope), not a vampire. Who can hear your heartbeats and come running towards you whenever you were in need.
To those who have not read my first lines of this letter, I am happy. I am very happy where I am right now. I know I am pretty, I am crazy to do things which makes my soul happy, I am independent enough to pay my own bills, strong enough to lift my own shopping bags, capable enough to make my family smile, and lovable enough to get so much love from people around me. I am complete by my own self. I don’t need a ‘husband/shona/baby’ to make me feel complete. If at all that is what makes you think marriage is a ‘need’…!!!
Ahh.. I know gal need a man to feel dignified and protected in this society. DAH. If society doesn’t respect me only because I am single. Well, society, I don’t respect you either. About protection, I don’t think all men are gutsy enough to protect a gal. They don’t roam around with a cape on their back. Do they???
I often hear aunties saying “a woman is not complete until and unless she becomes a mother”. Hmm I have seen or read many incidents where a mother abandoned newborn kid, married women leaving their children as they ‘failed’ in their marriages. Does these women really counted as ‘Complete’???
Motherhood is a bliss. Its all about pure and unconditional love. Where you love a kid with all your heart and soul. You don’t really have to give that kid a place in your womb to be a mother. If your kid is in your heart forever, there you go – you are a sweet mommy. I have a kid too, who has four legs, who talks in different language which only I understand. I know the feeling of being mother. I enjoy the motherhood. So society, I don’t bother if you count me as a mother or not, I know I am the mom of my kiddo. Read it twice – “Anyone Can Give Birth, Not All Can Give A Life”.
I have seen people crying after marriages. They realise their mistakes when it’s too late. I don’t want to end up like them. Better to be ‘late’ to get married than being a ‘late’ in marriage while you are alive.
I am not against marriage. Like every gal, I do want to get married. I do want those family pictures where I can see happiness in my parents’ eyes. I would love to see my baby sissy dolled up on my special day and introducing her brother in law to her friends happily. Day, when I look gorgeous than I have ever looked till date. I do want to see the love in my man’s eyes for me on that day and forever. I will get married when I get a mad fellow who is mad enough to do the crazy stuffs like I do. Enthusiast enough to plan random holidays. I will marry when I find the one who accepts me the way I am. Respects me and understand my passion. Who can make me smile even after a long hectic day. Who makes me feel home. Then I will definitely say – I do.
I won’t marry just because my happy single life is bothering you. Not just because clock is ticking. Not just because ‘good guys’ will be ‘sold out’. Definitely not because all my friends are getting married…!
I will marry when I find the right person. Till then chill and let me chill. One more thing to make crystal clear, I am not a person who will hide this beautiful relationship of mine. When I will get married The World will know. 🙂
I know you are jealous of my freedom. But I can’t help honey. Keep burning and since that you are ‘blissfully’ married, take care of your #BestHubbyInTheWorld and #CutestBaby of yours, instead of bothering singles like me. #LiveAndLetLive.
Yours Not At All Sincerely,
Happily Single 🙂