This morning, while I was reading the newspaper a small column caught my eyes. It’s news about Uttarakhand state.A part of the state consisting of 312 villages, has the data or stats saying that there are 312 male babies born in last three months. Interesting part here is, there is not even a single girl child born in that duration..!!
Before you go into the loop of thinking about any curse or something, let me tell you it’s one of those incidents where a girl child is treated as a curse.! It is not a coincident that every mother gave birth to a boy in last three months. This seems like many girl children have been murdered while they were inside their mothers’ womb. Which is said to be one of the most safest and most comfortable place for a kid. Unfortunately those girls couldn’t even make it to the world.
Why does Indians pray for a male child??? That to in front of Devi/ goddess, who is a female. During the days of kings, they longed for a male child as they needed a ruler to protect their kingdoms and people. One who could continue the name of their family. This makes a little sense as most of those rulers or dynasties were worth mentioning in the pages of history. What about now??? Do all individuals who are opting to kill their girl child has any dynasty to take care of???In some cases they go to the extra heights to get the male or the husband a ‘new’ wife with the hope (read it as guarantee) that she will give him a male child which his previous wife couldn’t. They seldom know that the gender of the baby is determined by the chromosome shared by the father, not the mother. Changing the wife is not the solution…!! Changing the attitude is.
I don’t have a brother of my own. But I have a sister who loves me more than a brother would have loved me.
She is always emotionally available for me. She understands and takes care of me more than any male creature would ever do. Because the level of understanding and love you share with your sister is no where comparable to that of with a brother. Back in those days, since I don’t have a brother, we were judged, questioned a lot many times. As a child and now as an adult I was, am and will always be glad that I have a sister and not a brother. Sisters are for life. Brothers, ummm they are not really good at maintaining all the relationships at a time. It’s too much for them to juggle between mother and wife. Forget about sisters. (It’s out of my own experience with my cousin brothers. If you have a brother who loves and takes care of you even after his marriage, you should appreciate your brother more. ) But I had this doubt why people insist a couple to have a baby boy, why not a baby girl???
I did asked this question to some ‘elderly’ people who asked such questions to me or to my family. The answers were –
- You will not be with your parents when they grow old, because you will have to move to your husband’s home and take care of your in laws. But a son will always be there.
- Son can protect his parents physically and economically.
- Son will carry on the name of the family, unlike girls who need to adopt her husband’s surname.
- When parents die, son is the one who’ll lit the sacred fire in order to give his parents eternal peace. The list continued.
Back in those days I didn’t really bother to give answers to those questions. But now I guess I have some.
- First of all, what is the guarantee that the son will always be there for you? Instead, i guarantee that daughters love and take care of parents way more better than a son would ever try to. Because we girls have this super power called love and care. They are like our ‘default settings’. You don’t have to configure those in us. But in guys, I can’t guarantee that you can even configure that in each boy. While adopting the new family, we still can be ourselves with our own family – parents and siblings.
- Son can protect you physically. What??? Is a super man or something??? About economic support, hello, we do earn and support family just like any son. sometimes, trust me we earn more than your loved son does.
- The trend of changing surname to that of husband’s is long gone. A girl has the right to keep her paternal surname with her name forever. If she wants, she can add her husband’s surname as a suffix. Thanks to actress Aishwarya Rai Bachhan who started this trend.
- About sacred fire to attain peace. Firstly, we girls are high on emotions. WE can’t even and don’t want to discuss such emotional stuffs. But one query – Is there any proof that only if a son does this ritual, God will grant peace??? As far as I remember Gods are not gender biased. Are they???
Evil in me is glad today that some of the ladies who used to ask questions about ‘ONLY’ girl children to my parents, are tasting their own karma. Some of their sons have left them, some are not earning, some are not married because girls think that they are not a good candidates to get married…!!! Ahem ahem. I am not claiming that all the sons are careless or all daughters are responsible. I know few boys who are great sons. But if you compare, the emotional support a parent gets from daughter is way more than a son. The number of responsible daughters is higher than responsible sons.Girls are talkative, so free entertainment in the house. haha. Caring enough to switch roles yet times when parents behave like a child. We are good listeners. We know to love beyond limit and care without giving up. We are good at academics (I am not saying this, every year the exam result stats say this), we aim to earn and be independent plus aim to support parents when they are in need. No matter where we go, we will always feel loved to be called as our parents’ daughters. Girls are no more restricted to kitchen or home making, we are in every field now. Right from agriculture to space science, from dance to athletics, we are reaching new heights every single day.I just want to tell one thing to those who pray and wish to have male child – No matter how good your son gets, you will NEED a girl to get married to him to ‘carry on’ your family name…!!!Even though female feticide or abortion is illegal, it’s horrifying that people still opt to do it. It is dishartening to see so many girl children losing their lives before opening their eyes, for no fault of theirs. Even though concerned officials have started the investigation in the Uttarakhand case, unless and until we, as a citizen don’t wake up, such incidents are not going to end. Because improving a nation or society is not just the responsibility of government or one individual.Let’s not let a girl child who can become a loving daughter, caring sister, charming wife, adorable daughter in law, amazing mother, close her eyes permanently before even opening them…!!
Categories: Heart to Heart