Every Man Needs A Mother, A Wife, A Sister Then Why Not A Daughter???

This morning, while I was reading the newspaper a small column caught my eyes. It’s news about Uttarakhand state.A part of the state consisting of 312 villages, has the data or stats saying that there are 312 male babies born in last three months. Interesting part here is, there is not even a single girl child born in that duration..!!
Before you go into the loop of thinking about any curse or something, let me tell you it’s one of those incidents where a girl child is treated as a curse.! It is not a coincident that every mother gave birth to a boy in last three months. This seems like many girl children have been murdered while they were inside their mothers’ womb. Which is said to be one of the most safest and most comfortable place for a kid. Unfortunately those girls couldn’t even make it to the world.

Why does Indians pray for a male child??? That to in front of Devi/ goddess, who is a female. During the days of kings, they longed for a male child as they needed a ruler to protect their kingdoms and people. One who could continue the name of their family. This makes a little sense as most of those rulers or dynasties were worth mentioning in the pages of history. What about now??? Do all individuals who are opting to kill their girl child has any dynasty to take care of???In some cases they go to the extra heights to get the male or the husband a ‘new’ wife with the hope (read it as guarantee) that she will give him a male child which his previous wife couldn’t. They seldom know that the gender of the baby is determined by the chromosome shared by the father, not the mother. Changing the wife is not the solution…!! Changing the attitude is.

I don’t have a brother of my own. But I have a sister who loves me more than a brother would have loved me.
She is always emotionally available for me. She understands and takes care of me more than any male creature would ever do. Because the level of understanding and love you share with your sister is no where comparable to that of with a brother. Back in those days, since I don’t have a brother, we were judged, questioned a lot many times. As a child and now as an adult I was, am and will always be glad that I have a sister and not a brother. Sisters are for life. Brothers, ummm they are not really good at maintaining all the relationships at a time. It’s too much for them to juggle between mother and wife. Forget about sisters. (It’s out of my own experience with my cousin brothers. If you have a brother who loves and takes care of you even after his marriage, you should appreciate your brother more. ) But I had this doubt why people insist a couple to have a baby boy, why not a baby girl???

I did asked this question to some ‘elderly’ people who asked such questions to me or to my family. The answers were –

  • You will not be with your parents when they grow old, because you will have to move to your husband’s home and take care of your in laws. But a son will always be there.
  • Son can protect his parents physically and economically.
  • Son will carry on the name of the family, unlike girls who need to adopt her husband’s surname.
  • When parents die, son is the one who’ll lit the sacred fire in order to give his parents eternal peace. The list continued.

Back in those days I didn’t really bother to give answers to those questions. But now I guess I have some.

  • First of all, what is the guarantee that the son will always be there for you? Instead, i guarantee that daughters love and take care of parents way more better than a son would ever try to. Because we girls have this super power called love and care. They are like our ‘default settings’. You don’t have to configure those in us. But in guys, I can’t guarantee that you can even configure that in each boy. While adopting the new family, we still can be ourselves with our own family – parents and siblings.
  • Son can protect you physically. What??? Is a super man or something??? About economic support, hello, we do earn and support family just like any son. sometimes, trust me we earn more than your loved son does.
  • The trend of changing surname to that of husband’s is long gone. A girl has the right to keep her paternal surname with her name forever. If she wants, she can add her husband’s surname as a suffix. Thanks to actress Aishwarya Rai Bachhan who started this trend.
  • About sacred fire to attain peace. Firstly, we girls are high on emotions. WE can’t even and don’t want to discuss such emotional stuffs. But one query – Is there any proof that only if a son does this ritual, God will grant peace??? As far as I remember Gods are not gender biased. Are they???

Evil in me is glad today that some of the ladies who used to ask questions about ‘ONLY’ girl children to my parents, are tasting their own karma. Some of their sons have left them, some are not earning, some are not married because girls think that they are not a good candidates to get married…!!! Ahem ahem. I am not claiming that all the sons are careless or all daughters are responsible. I know few boys who are great sons. But if you compare, the emotional support a parent gets from daughter is way more than a son. The number of responsible daughters is higher than responsible sons.Girls are talkative, so free entertainment in the house. haha. Caring enough to switch roles yet times when parents behave like a child. We are good listeners. We know to love beyond limit and care without giving up. We are good at academics (I am not saying this, every year the exam result stats say this), we aim to earn and be independent plus aim to support parents when they are in need. No matter where we go, we will always feel loved to be called as our parents’ daughters. Girls are no more restricted to kitchen or home making, we are in every field now. Right from agriculture to space science, from dance to athletics, we are reaching new heights every single day.I just want to tell one thing to those who pray and wish to have male child – No matter how good your son gets, you will NEED a girl to get married to him to ‘carry on’ your family name…!!!Even though female feticide or abortion is illegal, it’s horrifying that people still opt to do it. It is dishartening to see so many girl children losing their lives before opening their eyes, for no fault of theirs. Even though concerned officials have started the investigation in the Uttarakhand case, unless and until we, as a citizen don’t wake up, such incidents are not going to end. Because improving a nation or society is not just the responsibility of government or one individual.Let’s not let a girl child who can become a loving daughter, caring sister, charming wife, adorable daughter in law, amazing mother, close her eyes permanently before even opening them…!!

A Letter to My Younger Self…

On this women’s day, apart from appreciating all those women who inspires me, I thought of writing a letter to the most special one of them all. Me. I guess we are our ultimate inspiring souls. No wonder people around us do inspire us. But the option to get inspired or to ignore is within us . If you chose to get inspired then a little credit should go to you as well. Isn’t it.

So here is the letter I have written about the things I want to say to my little self.

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Read on and once you finish reading, start writing a letter to your little self too. Come on, if you don’t love and appreciate yourself, who else will???

 

Hey Cute Little Pallavi,

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I’m your older self. I am happy to tell you that I have survived, survived without letting you down. Fought many battles of life to be what I’m today. These are the thoughts straight from my bag of experiences.

Your world includes your hero – your dad, your strict teacher – your mom and your bundle of happiness – your sister. You know what cherish this world. Because this will keep you grounded. The real ‘world’ out there is not as kind as this one, might not be as happy as this one, so if you have ‘your little world’ by your side, you don’t have to worry about anything.

Also, you will slowly realize everything. Your first friend papa, will always be your listening ear when you break down. Mom, whom you secretly hate for being strict, will be the ultimate love of your life. You will thank her the most for shaping you into a beautiful lady one day. Let me tell you one more secret, I know you love your play partner, your baby sister. But you know what, soon she will become your best friend for life. Right from sharing rooms to sharing darkest secrets, you will grow to be soul sisters. Love your family.

You know that little kid, your right hand, your cousin has become a handsome guy now. You know what will never change??? It’s the bond between you two. The bond of love. It will grow stronger day by day. Keep him by your side and in your heart forever.

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School, grades, marks cards – I know you don’t really worry as you are one of the coolest students. Haha. Lots of kisses to you for being one. Be cool. Because in life these things doesn’t really matter after some point of time. So breaking heads for grades is not worth.

I know how much you love dancing and all creative stuffs. Stick to that gal. Life and society will try their best to make you do what they want you to do. They try to take you away from these creative stuff to make you an engineer or doctor. But Pallavi, hobbies feed your soul, those things make you happy. So you know you should do what makes you happy. Right?

Talking about making happy, I know your ambition. To grow up and buy tons of chocolates to yourself. Hehe you will. Eat whatever you want. Don’t be behind diet and stuff to fit into the category of ‘ideal body’. Because there is no ideal body as such. While taking care of your health, be happy in your own skin. You are cute and you will grow up into a beautiful lady if you want to be.

Pets… Ahh they are part of your soul I know. Love them unconditionally just like they love us. Your peace and happiness lies in them. Remember that.

You love traveling on bikes with your daddy dearest. I can see that happiness when you sit on his bike in front. Your smile is infectious. Never let this world change that. When you grow old, amidst all chaos it’s ok to feel lost sometime. Do not panic. When you feel lost, just go on a short trip. The cool breeze, the silence away from the city will make you find yourself.

Apart from knowing your strength, it’s more important to know your weaknesses. You love your own space. You take time to Know people. That’s absolutely ok. Once you like someone, you care for them way too much. Sometimes more than they deserve. My dear little self, choose wisely. On whom you are spending your care, love and time. Because those are very precious. I am sure life and time will be the ultimate teachers for you. You will be wise enough to learn these things eventually.

Now the serious point I want to tell you.

Being a gal seems so girly, colorful and beautiful now, when you are a little princess. But being a queen doesn’t comes easy. You will be judged for all your actions. You will be criticized. There will be tons of restrictions. Hell lot of expectations from you. I can hear you asking me that with a shaking voice, “who does that?”. Well, society. But you don’t have to worry. Let me tell you how to tackle this. It’s simple -DONT CARE.

Do what you like, live the way you want to, fall in love, fall out of love, make mistakes, don’t regret, instead learn from your mistakes, get tattooed I know you love them, eat your favorite food without worrying about the calories you gain, earn money to spend it, wear what you are comfortable in, dance, sing, write, travel, be a mom of a pet, live alone or with friends as you wish, choose a fast life or a slow one make sure you are happy because sweetie you will be judged anyways so instead of living a boring life, give those aunties some reason to talk about. Haha

As you grow older, you might start taking life seriously. Little one, don’t do that. The more you take life seriously the more you will be screwed. Just be free, crazy and silly I know how notorious you are. Don’t lose that, don’t become a boring Pallavi. Haha I know it doesn’t go well. So be who you are. But never waste time proving that to people out there.

Just like mom found dad, you will find someone one day. Have patience. Do not hurry to get married. Because you don’t want to end up creating a mess. Do not get married because someone says you to, don’t get married because of age, don’t get married because someone else did. Get married when you find the one with whom you can be friends for life. With whom you can dance, sing, eat chocolates, ride bikes, do crazy stuffs.

Lastly, dear little Pallavi,

Life is tough and so are you. Life is beautiful and so are you.

Be kind, spread love, don’t waste it on wrong people and don’t waste time proving how good you are.

Believe in karma. What you give, comes back to you.

Do good to feel good. When you are in need, something good happens to you. That’s the magic of karma.

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Smile…. You will get your teeth back soon. Smile even when you don’t have one.

Keep this innocence intact. It’s challenging with time but not impossible.

I wish I could hug you right now for being such an amazing gal you are…. 😘😘😘

Miss you little Pallavi,

Yours lovingly,

Grown-up Pallavi

 

Now, it’s your turn to write a letter for your young self…!!!

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Happy Women’s day…!!!

 

Outfit details on Instagram.

Five Bollywood Female Characters to Get Inspired From, On This Women’s Day

Hey

‘Women’s Day’ is just around the corner. While the world starts praising the ‘role’ of a woman in their lives, I have this post up, where I am praising the ‘roles’ of some women in Bollywood movies which have inspired me to be the best version of myself.

You know I am a Bollywood fan. Being one, I can’t miss the fact that there are some movies which have inspired to be stronger, independent and of course prettier version of myself. I think this is the right time to share my list of favorite female characters of Bollywood.

I know there are plenty of characters who are worth idealizing, here are the five whom I love for inspiring me. I am sure even you will agree to my point if you have already watched them if not, grab a bucket of popcorn and watch them this weekend.

Shashi from the movie – English Vinglish

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Ok this is my small tribute to the star whom we lost last week – Sridevi. Even though she has acted in plenty of films in Bollywood, this will always be my favorite.

Which is the most hectic job you can imagine??? Doctor??? Army??? Cook?? umm teacher??? Na.. its being a mother or a home maker. Yes. Think about it. It’s 24 * 7 job. Alll through out the year. No holidays. You can’t take leaves. No payment. Unfortunately the worst part is, not all of those who opt for this job happily, do not even get the appreciation or credit which they deserve at the end of the day. Disheartening isn’t it??? Well, this is the story of most of the middle class ‘home makers’.

The movie ‘English Vinglish’ is based on these similar lines. Shashi – a beautiful mommy of two kids. Along with managing all household works, Shashi holds a tiny catering business where she prepares this Indian sweet – ‘laddu’. Her working husband and her daughter doesn’t really care or respect what she is doing. Her daughter treats her mom so badly (at some point of time you feel like slapping her while watching the movie) just because mom doesn’t know to speak English. As most of the people get judged by the way they talk in English. #Sad It’s just a language guys. Language is been invented to communicate what you feel. not to make someone feel bad.

But, Shashi goes to USA to attend her niece’s wedding. That’s where her life changes. She happened to join ‘English speaking’ class. The struggle to manage class timings in spite of managing all the marriage arrangements, her dedication, her innocence will melt your heart..

Due to some unexpected things in the house, Shashi misses her final exam of her class. But yet she manages to score more than anyone else in the class. How?? Well, watch the movie to know. Her transformation from being an under confident Indian woman to a confident woman is worth the watch.

Thank you Sridevi for making Shashi alive and inspiring tons of ladies to realise that there is nothing impossible if you have the willpower to do it, through ‘English Vinglish’.

2. Rani from the movie Queen:

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This is one of my favorite.

So the world is been divided into 2 categories of women. One – who want to be independent and doesn’t really want to get into this thing called ‘marriage’. The other –  all they can dream about is their marriage. I am not saying it’s bad, but I don’t belong to that category at least.

So, our heroine Rani belongs to the later one. She is happy that she is getting married to her ‘prince charm’. She has everything planned. From her marriage dress to her honeymoon tickets. Paris – is where she is flying to, post her marriage.

Well, life is about expecting the unexpected. Right??? Her ‘Price charm’ calls off the wedding on her ‘big day’. Because he thinks she is not of his ‘type’.

Haww… Calling off a marriage – Breaking news for all those gossip aunties…!!! Heart broken bride and her family. In India at least, ‘marriage’ is like a licence to live life in the ‘society’. If you are not married, ahhh forget about leading a ‘peaceful’ life here.

But, Rani decides to go on honeymoon. Alone. Instead of cribbing on her misfortune, she chooses to face it.

Let me skip her stay in France because I can’t really pen down all those beautiful moments of hers, where she transforms into a beautiful butterfly from a cocoon.

You know what will make you watch this movie for??? When she comes back to India – her ‘prince charm’ who has realised whom he has lost, proposes to her for marriage ‘again’. But Rani refuses.

Because after so many struggles she has found her own self. Whom she refuses to lose for any one’s sake.

That’s beautiful. Because losing oneself while loving others is the worst thing to happen.

3. Geet from the movie Jab We Met

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Being strong, independent is something necessary. But you know what else is??? Being silly, crazy and dare to do what you like rather than what society likes you to be.

Geeth from Jab We Met thought me – sometimes all you need is those 2 minutes of craziness to change your entire life for good.

She chooses to run away from home with her friend, to meet and marry the guy she loves. (Read the line she loves twice. Because she is not really sure whether he feels the same and whether  will come to get her or not. Umm I already told you, she is crazy.)

She says this to her friend before leaving home – “I don’t know whether I will be happy with him or not. But what makes me happy is that, whatever is happening is because of ‘my’ choice not because of my parents’ choice. So I will be happy. I don’t want to regret someday that I had a chance to run away but I didn’t. Instead I will be happy that at least I dared to do so.”

Amazingly true…!!! This made me also believe – I don’t want to live or die with any  regrets.

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Anddd my mosttt favourite dialogue of Bollywood -“Mai Apni Favorite hoon” (I am my favourite). The way she loves herself, will make you fall in love with yourself all over again. Trust me on this.

Whether Geeth meets her guy, whether she gets married to him?? Watch the movie. I am sure you will love the movie. I can at least watch this movie for zillion times without getting bored.

4. Naina from Ye Jawani Hai Deewani

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An introvert, topper of the class, umm to make simple – a boring gal, opts to go out on a trip with her class’ ‘last benchers’ to explore life. During the journey she finds her true self and also finds her ‘prince charm’. The guy she falls in love, is passionate about what he does – travelling. On the last day of their trip, Naina decides to confess to him about how she feels for him. Bad timing huun. By that time, he receives this job letter where he gets to travel and gets paid for it. Do you think he will leave that opportunity??? Na. Also he doesn’t even know how Naina feels for him. So he chooses to go and get that job.

Naina, unlike any ‘typical’ Bollywood heroine, chooses not to confess her love. She lets him go, go and live his dream. She completes her degree and achieves her dream of being a doctor.

Life is full of surprises. They meet again. This time, even the guy falls in love. But Naina knows he can’t settle down at one place because his job doesn’t allows him to do so. What made me appreciate Naina, unlike any other gal – she refuses to leave her dream and go with him. She lets him go again, even though she loves him so much. At the end, he leaves his job to settle down with love of his life – Naina.

Determined Naina won my heart. You go gal…!!!

As most of gals sacrifice everything just to ‘settle down’ with their ‘prince charm’. Is that really worth doing??? May be in the beginning yes with all those new changes in life, you do feel right. But how about 10-15 years later??? Will you be still happy with your decision??? Choose your path wisely gal.

 5. Meera from the movie NH10

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I had this phobia of darkness. It was nothing less than a nightmare for me to go out in the dark even to watch starts. Yes I am serious. I used to grab my grandma’s hands while she used to take me out to show the stars. These phobias I know..!!!

But, this one movie changed my perception about darkness. It made me fear the darkness inside a human than the darkness outside.

Meera – a modern, working woman from Delhi, lives with love of her life – her husband. On their anniversary they choose to spend their day at a place far away from the city. They take a road trip. But they get into a big mess in the middle of the road. So messy that she loses her husband due to some evil people.

Her battles to save her husband’s life and when she fails I am sure your eyes will be moist just like mine.

But story doesn’t ends there. Meera continues to fight.

The movie is about that one messy night in the life of Meera. She fights all the difficulties and how she manages to take her revenge by early morning is thrilling. This will definitely make you realise, we women, are more than what we believe we are. We have immense strength inside us. People say we are physically weaker than men. But mentally, we are much much stronger than any man out there. Watch this movie to boost that inner you.

 

So, these are the five Bollywood female characters who has inspired me the most.

What about you??? Do you have any of your favorite ones??? I am sure you do.

Share their names & movie name below in the comments section. So that I and some other beautiful souls can watch and get inspired…!!!